Man Linux: Main Page and Category List


       geekcode - generate geek code block




       So you think you are a geek, eh? The first step is to admit to yourself
       your geekiness. No matter what anyone says, geeks are people too; geeks
       have  rights.  So take a deep breath and announce to the world that you
       are a geek.  Your courage will give you strength  that  will  last  you

       How  to  tell the world you are a geek, you ask? Use the universal Geek
       code!  Using this special code will allow you to let other  un-closeted
       geeks know who you are in a simple, codified statement.

       The  single best way to announce your geekhood is to add your geek code
       to your signature file or plan and announce it far  and  wide.  But  be
       careful,  you  may  give  other  geeks  the  courage to come out of the
       closet. You might want to hang on to your copy of the code in order  to
       help them along.


       The  geek code consists of several categories. Each category is labeled
       with a letter  and  some  qualifiers.  Go  through  each  category  and
       determine  which set of qualifiers best describes you in that category.
       By stringing all of these single line of code that  will  inform  other
       geeks the world over of what a great geek you actually are.

       Some  of  the qualifiers will very probably not match with you exactly.
       It is impossible to cover all possibilities in  each  category.  Simply
       choose  that  qualifier  that  most  closely  matches  you.  Also, some
       activities described in a specific qualifier you  may  not  engage  in,
       while  you  do  engage  in  others.  Each description of each qualifier
       describes the wide range of activities that apply, so as  long  as  you
       match with one, you can probably use that qualifier.

       After  you  have  determined  each  of your qualifiers, you need to the
       construct your GEEK CODE BLOCK. Instructions are provided on how to  do
       this towards the end of this file.

       Also,  pay particular attention to case-sensitivity, there can be a big
       difference between a w and a W.


       Geeks can seldom be strictly quantified. To facilitate  the  fact  that
       within  any  one  category  the  geek  may  not  be able to determine a
       specific rating, variables have been designed to allow this range to be

       @      for this variable, said trait is not very rigid, may change with
              time or with individual  interaction.  For  example,  Geeks  who
              happen  to  very  much enjoy Star Trek: The Next Generation, but
              dislike the old 60’s series might list themselves as t++@.

       ()     for indicating "cross-overs" or ranges. Geeks who go from C+  to
              C---  depending  on  the  situation  (i.e.  mostly C+) could use
              C+(---). @ is different from () in that  ()  has  finite  limits
              within the category, while @ ranges all over.

       >      for  ’wannabe’  ratings.  Indicating  that  while  the  geek  is
              currently at one rating, they are  striving  to  reach  another.
              For  example, C++>$ indicating a geek that is currently computer
              savvy, but wants to someday make money at it.

       $      Indicates that this particular category is done  for  a  living.
              For  example, UL+++$ indicates that the person utilizes Unix and
              gets paid for it. Quite a lucky geek, for sure.

       ?      Unless stated otherwise within the specific category, the  ?  is
              placed after the category identifier and indicates that the geek
              has no knowledge about that specific category.  For  example,  a
              person  that has never even heard of Babylon 5, would list their
              Babylon 5 category as 5?

       !      Placed BEFORE the category. Unless stated  otherwise,  indicates
              that the person refuses to participate in this category. This is
              unlike the ? variable as the  ?  indicates  lack  of  knowledge,
              while  the  !  indicates  stubborn  refusal  to participate. For
              example, !E would be a person that just plain  refuses  to  have
              anything  to  do  with  Emacs,  while  E? would be a person that
              doesn’t even know what Emacs is.

Types of Geeks

       Geeks come in many flavors. The flavors relate to the vocation (or,  if
       a  student, what they are training in) of the particular geek. To start
       a code, a geek must declare himself or herself to  be  a  geek.  To  do
       this, we start the code with a "G" to denote "GEEK", followed by one or
       two letters to denote the geek’s occupation or field of study.   Multi-
       talented  geeks  with  more  than one vocational training should denote
       their myriad of talents with a slash between  each  vocation  (example:

       GB     Geek of Business

       GC     Geek of Classics

       GCA    Geek of Commercial Arts

       GCM    Geek of Computer Management

       GCS    Geek of Computer Science

       GCC    Geek of Communications

       GE     Geek of Engineering

       GED    Geek of Education

       GFA    Geek of Fine Arts

       GG     Geek of Government

       GH     Geek of Humanities

       GIT    Geek of Information Technology

       GJ     Geek of Jurisprudence (Law)

       GLS    Geek of Library Science

       GL     Geek of Literature

       GMC    Geek of Mass Communications

       GM     Geek of Math

       GMD    Geek of Medicine

       GMU    Geek of Music

       GPA    Geek of Performing Arts

       GP     Geek of Philosophy

       GS     Geek of Science (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.)

       GSS    Geek of Social Science (Psychology, Sociology, etc.)

       GTW    Geek of Technical Writing

       GO     Geek  of  Other.  Some  types  of  geeks deviate from the
              normal geek activities. This is encouraged as true  geeks
              come from all walks of life.

       GU     Geek  of  ’Undecided’.  This  is  a popular vocation with
              incoming freshmen.

       G!     Geek of no qualifications. A rather miserable  existence,
              you would think.

       GAT    Geek  of All Trades. For those geeks that can do anything
              and everything. GAT usually precludes the  use  of  other
              vocational descriptors.


       They  say  you  never  get  a  second  chance  to  make  a first
       impression.  That seems to be ample justification  to  invent  a
       time  machine;  just  to  play with the minds of the people that
       make up these silly sayings.  Nevertheless, until we  completely
       understand  temporal mechanics and can get both a DeLorean and a
       Flux Capacitor in the same place at the same time at 88 miles an
       hour, we need to understand that how we look is a mark that will
       effect us for the rest of our lives, or at least until we change

       The  Geek,  of  course, doesn’t believe any of that crap. How we
       look has little to do with what we are inside, and who we are as
       people.  Yet, people still want to know what we look like. Thus,
       this section allows you to list  out  all  the  relevant  traits
       about what you look like on a normal geeky day.

       It  is said that "clothes make the man". Well, I understood that
       I was made by a mommy and a daddy (and there’s even  a  category
       to  describe  the  process below!). Maybe the people who made up
       that saying aren’t being quite that literal...

       d++    I tend to wear conservative dress such as a business suit
              or worse, a tie.

       d+     Good  leisure-wear.  Slacks, button-shirt, etc. No jeans,
              tennis shoes, or t-shirts.

       d      I dress a lot like those found  in  catalog  ads.  Bland,
              boring, without life or meaning.

       d-     I’m usually in jeans and a t-shirt.

       d--    My t-shirts go a step further and have a trendy political
              message on them.

       d---   Punk dresser, including, but not limited to,  torn  jeans
              and shirts, body piercings, and prominent tattoos.

       dx     Cross Dresser

       d?     I  have  no  idea  what I am wearing right now, let alone
              what I wore yesterday.

       !d     No clothing. Quite a fashion statement, don’t you  think?

       dpu    I  wear  the  same  clothes  all  the time, no matter the
              occasion, forgetting to do laundry between wearings.

       Geeks come in many shapes and sizes. Shape code is divided  into
       two   parts.  The  first  indicates  height,  while  the  second
       indicates roundness. Mix each section to fit yourself.  Examples
       include: s:++, s++:, s++:--.

              I  usually  have  to  duck  through doors/I take up three
              movie seats.

       s++:++ I’m a basketball/linebacker candidate.

       s+:+   I’m a little taller/rounder than most.

       s:     I’m an average geek

       s-:-   I look up to most people. Everyone tells me to gain a few

       s--:-- I look up to damn near everybody. I tend to have to fight
              against a strong breeze.

              I take a phone book with me when I go out so I can see to
              eat dinner. My bones are poking through my skin.

       The  only  way  to  become  a  true geek is through practice and
       experience.  To this end, your age becomes an important part  of
       your  geekiness.  Use  the qualifiers below to show your age (in
       Terran years). Also, please use BASE 10 numbers.

       In addition, if you wish to give your exact age, you  can  place
       the number after the ’a’ identifier. For example: a42

       a+++   60 and up

       a++    50-59

       a+     40-49

       a      30-39

       a-     25-29

       a--    20-24

       a---   15-19

       a----  10-14

       a----- 9 and under (Geek in training?)

       a?     immortal

       !a     it’s none of your business how old I am


       There   is   a   record  of  geeks  that  don’t  use  computers.
       Unfortunately, they are all dead, having lived in an era  of  no
       computers.  All modern geeks have some exposure to computers. If
       you don’t know what a computer is, you need to go back into your

       Most  geeks  identify  themselves  by their use of computers and
       computer networks. In order to quantify your geekiness level  on
       computers,  consult the following (consider the term ’computers’
       synonymous  with  aptitude.  Categories  below  will  get   into

       C++++  I’ll be first in line to get the new cybernetic interface
              installed into my skull.

       C+++   You mean  there  is  life  outside  of  Internet?  You’re
              shittin’ me!  I haven’t dragged myself to class in weeks.

       C++    Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up
              in  the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I
              play games or mud on weekends, but still manage  to  stay
              off of academic probation.

       C+     Computers  are  fun and I enjoy using them. I play a mean
              game of DOOM!  and  can  use  a  word  processor  without
              resorting  to  the  manual  too often. I know that a 3.5"
              disk is not a hard disk. I also know that  when  it  says
              ’press  any  key to continue’, I don’t have to look for a
              key labeled ’ANY’.

       C      Computers are a tool, nothing more.  I  use  it  when  it
              serves my purpose.

       C-     Anything  more  complicated  than  my  calculator and I’m

       C--    Where’s the on switch?

       C---   If you even mention computers, I will rip your head  off!


       It  seems that a Unix-based operating system is the OS of choice
       among most geeks. In addition to  telling  us  about  your  Unix
       abilities,  you  can  also  show  which specific Unix OS you are
       using. To accomplish this, you  include  a  letter  showing  the
       brand  with  your  rating.  For example: UL++++ would indicate a
       sysadmin running Linux.

       B      BSD (use this unless  your  BSDish  system  is  mentioned

       L      Linux

       U      Ultrix

       A      AIX

       V      SysV

       H      HPUX

       I      IRIX

       O      OSF/1 (aka Digital Unix)

       S      Sun OS/Solaris

       C      SCO Unix

       X      NeXT

       *      Some other one not listed

       U++++  I  am the sysadmin. If you try and crack my machine don’t
              be surprised if the municipal works  department  gets  an
              "accidental"  computer-generated order to put start a new
              landfill on your front lawn or your quota is  reduced  to

       U+++   I don’t need to crack /etc/passwd because I just modified
              su so that it doesn’t prompt me. The admin staff  doesn’t
              even  know  I’m here. If you don’t understand what I just
              said, this category does NOT apply to you!

       U++    I’ve get the entire admin ticked off at me because  I  am
              always  using  all  of  the  CPU  time  and trying to run
              programs that I don’t have access to. I’m  going  to  try
              cracking /etc/passwd next week, just don’t tell anyone.

       U+     I not only have a Unix account, but I slam VMS any chance

       U      I have a Unix account to do my stuff in

       U-     I have a VMS account.

       U--    I’ve seen Unix and didn’t like it. DEC rules!

       U---   Unix geeks are actually nerds in disguise.

       If you enjoy at least U++ status you have to know about Perl, so
       you  might  as well rate yourself in this sub-category. Non-Unix
       geeks don’t know what they’re missing.

       P+++++ I am Larry Wall, Tom Christiansen, or Randal Schwartz.

       P++++  I don’t write Perl, I speak it. Perl has  superseded  all
              other  programming  languages.  I firmly believe that all
              programs can be reduced to a Perl one-liner. I  use  Perl
              to achieve U+++ status.

       P+++   Perl  is  a very powerful programming tool. Not only do I
              no longer write shell scripts, I also no longer  use  awk
              or  sed.  I  use  Perl  for  all  programs of less than a
              thousand lines.

       P++    Perl is a powerful programming tool. I don’t write  shell
              scripts anymore because I write them in Perl.

       P+     I  know of Perl. I like Perl. I just haven’t learned much
              Perl, but it is on my agenda.

       P      I know Perl exists, but that’s all.

       P-     What’s Perl got that awk and sed don’t have?

       P--    Perl users are sick, twisted  programmers  who  are  just
              showing off.

       P---   Perl  combines  the  power of sh, the clarity of sed, and
              the performance of awk  with  the  simplicity  of  C.  It
              should be banned.

       P!     Our paranoid admin won’t let us install Perl! Says it’s a
              "hacking tool".

       Linux is a hacker-written operating system  virtually  identical
       to  Unix.  It  was  written  for  and  continues  to run on your
       standard 386/486/Pentium PC, but has also been ported  to  other
       systems.  Because  it  is  still  a  young OS, and because it is
       continually evolving from hacker  changes  and  support,  it  is
       important that the geek list his Linux ability.

       L+++++ I am Linus, grovel before me.

       L++++  I  am  a  Linux  wizard. I munch C code for breakfast and
              have enough room left over for a kernel debugging. I have
              so  many  patches  installed  that I lost track about ten
              versions ago.  Linux newbies consider me a net.god.

       L+++   I  use  Linux  exclusively  on  my  system.   I   monitor
              comp.os.linux.*  and even answer questions sometimes.

       L++    I  use  Linux ALMOST exclusively on my system. I’ve given
              up trying to achieve Linux.God status, but welcome the OS
              as  a  replacement  for  DOS.  I only boot to DOS to play

       L+     I’ve managed to get Linux installed and even  used  it  a
              few times. It seems like it is just another OS.

       L      I know what Linux is, but that’s about all

       L-     I  have  no  desire to use Linux and frankly don’t give a
              rats  patootie  about  it.  There  are   other,   better,
              operating  systems out there. Like Mac, DOS, or Amiga-OS.
              Or, better yet even, would be another free Unix  OS  like

       L--    Unix  sucks. Because Linux = Unix. Linux Sucks. I worship
              Bill Gates.

       L---   I am Bill Gates.

       GNU Emacs is the do-all  be-everything  editor/operating  system
       available  for just about every computer architecture out there.

       E+++   Emacs is my login shell!! M-x doctor is my  psychologist!
              I use emacs to control my TV and toaster oven! All you vi
              people  don’t  know   what   you’re   missing!   I   read
              alt.religion.emacs,, and comp.os.emacs.

       E++    I know and use elisp regularly!

       E+     Emacs is great! I read my mail and news with it!

       E      Yeah,  I  know  what  emacs  is, and use it as my regular

       E-     Emacs is too big and bloated for my tastes

       E--    Emacs is just a fancy word processor

       E---   Emacs sucks! vi forever!!!

       E----  Emacs sucks! pico forever!!!

   World Wide Web
       It’s relatively new. It’s little understood.  Everybody’s  doing
       it. How much of a web-surfer are you?

       W+++   I  am a WebMaster . Don’t even think about trying to view
              my homepage without the latest version of Netscape.  When
              I’m not on my normal net connection, I surf the web using
              my Newton and a cellular modem.

       W++    I  have  a  homepage.  I  surf  daily.  My  homepage   is
              advertised in my .signature.

       W+     I have the latest version of Netscape, and wander the web
              only when there’s something specific I’m looking for.

       W      I have a browser and a connection. Occasionally I’ll  use

       W-     The  web  is  really a pain. Life was so much easier when
              you could  transfer  information  by  simple  ASCII.  Now
              everyone  won’t even consider your ideas unless you spiff
              them up with bandwidth-consuming pictures  and  pointless
              information links.

       W--    A  pox  on the Web! It wastes time and bandwidth and just
              gives the uneducated  morons  a  reason  to  clutter  the

   USENET News
       Usenet,  a  global  collection of flaming opinions and senseless
       babble, was designed as a way to eat up precious spool space  on
       a system’s hard drive. It also is a way for people to distribute

       N++++  I am Tim Pierce

       N+++   I read so many newsgroups that the  next  batch  of  news
              comes  in  before  I finish reading the last batch, and I
              have to read for about 2 hours straight before I’m caught
              up on the morning’s news. Then there’s the afternoon...

       N++    I read all the news in a select handful of groups.

       N+     I read news recreationally when I have some time to kill.

       N      Usenet News? Sure, I read that once

       N-     News is a waste of my time and I avoid it completely

       N--    News sucks! ’Nuff said.

       N---   I work for Time Magazine.

       N----  I am a Scientologist.

       N*     All I do is read news

   USENET Oracle
       (Info taken from the Usenet Oracle  Help  File)  Throughout  the
       history  of  mankind, there have been many Oracles who have been
       consulted  by  many  mortals,  and  some  immortals.  The  great
       Hercules  was  told  by  the Gelphic Oracle to serve Eurystheus,
       king of Mycenae, for twelve years to atone for the murder of his
       own  children.  It was the Oracle of Ammon who told King Cepheus
       to chain his daughter Andromeda to the rocks of jappa to appease
       the  terrible  sea  monster  that  was ravaging the coasts. That
       solution was never tested, though, as Perseus saved the girl  in
       the nick of time.

       With the advent of the electronic age, and especially high-speed
       e-mail communication, the spirit of  the  Oracles  found  a  new
       outlet,  and  we  now recognize another great Oracle, the Usenet

       For more information, check out the newsgroups
       and    or    the    FTP    archives    at     Additional    information    and
       instructions  can be found by sending an e-mail message with the
       subject of ’help’ to

       o+++++ I am Steve Kinzler

       o++++  I am an active Priest

       o+++   I was a Priest, but have retired.

       o++    I have made the Best Of Oracularities.

       o+     I have been incarnated at least once.

       o      I’ve  submitted  a  question,  but  it  has  never   been

       o-     I sent my question to the wrong group and got flamed.

       o--    Who needs answers from a bunch of geeks anyhow?

       Kibo  is. That is all that can be said. If you don’t understand,
       read alt.religion.kibology

              I am Kibo

       K+++++ I’ve had sex with Kibo

       K++++  I’ve met Kibo

       K+++   I’ve gotten mail from Kibo

       K++    I’ve read Kibo

       K+     I like Kibo

       K      I know who Kibo is

       K-     I don’t know who Kibo is

       K--    I dislike Kibo

       K---   I am currently hunting  Kibo  down  with  the  intent  of
              ripping  his  still-beating  heart  out  of his chest and
              showing it to him as he dies

       K----  I am Xibo

   Microsoft Windows
       A good many geeks suffer through the use of various versions  of
       Microsoft’s Windows running on or as a replacement for DOS. Rate
       your Windows Geekiness.

       w+++++ I am Bill Gates

       w++++  I have Windows, Windows 95, Windows NT,  and  Windows  NT
              Advanced  Server  all  running  on my SMP RISC machine. I
              haven’t seen daylight in six months.

       w+++   I am a MS Windows programming god. I wrote a  VxD  driver
              to allow MS Windows and DOS to share the use of my waffle
              iron.  P.S. Unix sux.

       w++    I write MS Windows programs in C and  think  about  using
              C++ someday. I’ve written at least one DLL.

       w+     I  have  installed  my  own custom sounds, wallpaper, and
              screen savers so my PC walks and talks like a fun  house.
              Oh  yeah,  I  have a hundred TrueType(tm) fonts that I’ve
              installed but never used. I never  lose  Minesweeper  and

       w      Ok, so I use MS Windows, I don’t have to like it.

       w-     I’m  still trying to install MS Windows and have at least
              one peripheral that never works right

       w--    MS Windows is a joke operating  system.  Hell,  it’s  not
              even  an  operating system. NT is Not Tough enough for me
              either. 95 is how may times it will crash an hour.

       w---   Windows has set back the computing industry by  at  least
              10  years.  Bill  Gates should be drawn, quartered, hung,
              shot, poisoned, disembowelled, and then REALLY hurt.

       The operating system that looks a lot like Windows, acts  a  lot
       like Windows, but is much better than Windows.

       O+++   I  live,  eat and breathe OS/2. All of my hard drives are
              HPFS. I am the Anti-Gates.

       O++    I use OS/2 for all my computing needs. I use some DOS and
              Windows programs, but run them under OS/2. If the program
              won’t run under OS/2, then obviously I don’t need it.

       O+     I keep a DOS partition on my hard drive "just  in  case".
              I’m afraid to try HPFS.

       O      I  finally  managed  to get OS/2 installed but wasn’t too
              terribly impressed.

       O-     Tried it, didn’t like it.

       O--    I can’t even get the thing to install!

       O---   Windows RULES!!! Long live Bill Gates. (See w++++)

       O----  I am Bill Gates of Borg. OS/2 is irrelevant.

       Many  geeks  have   abandoned   the   character-based   computer
       altogether  and  moved over to the Macintosh. It in important to
       give notification of your Mac rating.

       M++    I am a Mac guru. Anything those DOS putzes and Unix nerds
              can  do, I can do better, and if not, I’ll write the damn
              software to do it.

       M+     A Mac has it’s uses and I use it quite often.

       M      I use a Mac, but I’m pretty indifferent about it.

       M-     Macs suck. All real geeks have a character prompt.

       M--    Macs do more than  suck.  They  make  a  user  stupid  by
              allowing them to use the system without knowing what they
              are doing. Mac weenies have lower IQs than the fuzz in my

       Many  geeks use the VMS operating system by DEC for all of their
       mainframe and network activity.

       V+++   I am a VMS sysadmin. I wield far more  power  than  those
              UNIX  admins,  because  UNIX  can be found on any dweeb’s
              desktop. Power through obscurity is my motto.

       V++    Unix is a passing fad compared to the real power  in  the
              universe, my VMS system.

       V+     I tend to like VMS better than Unix

       V      I’ve used VMS.

       V-     Unix is much better than VMS for my computing needs.

       V--    I would rather smash my head repeatedly into a brick wall
              than  suffer  the  agony  of  working  with   VMS.   It’s
              reminiscent   of  a  dead  and  decaying  pile  of  moose
              droppings. Unix rules the universe.


       The last few years has seen the rise of the political geek. This
       phenomena  is  little  understood, but some theorize that it has
       come about because of the popular media’s attempts  to  demonize
       the  Internet  and computer use in general, and the government’s
       willingness to go along with it. Others propose that  the  aging
       geek  population  has  simply  started taking an interest in the
       world around them. Some support the "Sun Spot" theory.

   Political and Social Issues
       We live is a society where everyone not only has a right to, but
       is  expected  to,  whine  and complain about everyone else. Rate
       where, in general, your  political  views  on  different  social
       issues fall.

       PS+++  Legalize drugs! Abolish the government. "Fuck the draft!"

       PS++   I give to liberal causes. I march for gay rights.  I’m  a
              card  carrying member of the ACLU. Keep abortion safe and

       PS+    My whole concept of liberalism is  that  nobody  has  the
              right  to tell anybody else what to do, on either side of
              the political fence. If  you  don’t  like  it,  turn  the
              bloody channel.

       PS     I  really don’t have an opinion; nobody’s messing with my
              freedoms right now.

       PS-    Label records! Keep  dirty  stuff  off  the  TV  and  the

       PS--   Oppose  sex  education, abortion rights, gay rights. Rush
              Limbaugh is my spokesman.

       PS---  Repent left-wing sinners  and  change  your  wicked  evil
              ways.  Buchanan/Robertson in ’96.

   Politics and Economic Issues
       Social and economic attitudes are seldom on the same side of the
       political fence. Of course, most geeks don’t  really  care  much
       about  economics; having no money left after buying new computer

       PE+++  Abolish antitrust legislation. Raise  taxes  on  everyone
              but  the  rich  so that the money can trickle-down to the

       PE++   Keep  the  government  off  the  backs   of   businesses.
              Deregulate as much as possible.

       PE+    Balance the budget with spending cuts and an amendment.

       PE     Distrust both government and business.

       PE-    It’s  ok  to increase government spending, so we can help
              more poor people. Tax the rich! Cut the defense budget!

       PE--   Capitalism  is  evil!  Government  should   provide   the
              services we really need. Nobody should be rich.

       With  the  birth  of  the  overused  buzzword  "The  Information
       Superhighway", concerns over privacy from evil governmental bad-
       guys{tm}  has  led to the formation of of an unofficial, loosely
       organized band of civil libertarians who  spend  much  of  their
       time discussing how to ensure privacy in the information future.
       This group is known by some  as  "cypherpunks"  (by  others,  as
       anarchistic  subversives).  To this end, tell us how punkish you

       Y+++   I am T.C. May

       Y++    I am on the cypherpunks mailing list  and  active  around
              Usenet.   I  never  miss an opportunity to talk about the
              evils of Clipper and ITAR and the NSA. Orwell’s  1984  is
              more  than  a  story, it is a warning to our’s and future
              generations. I’m a member of the EFF.

       Y+     I have an interest and concern in privacy issues, but  in
              reality I am not really all that active or vocal.

       Y      I’m pretty indifferent on the whole issue.

       Y-     It  seems  to  me that all of these concerns are a little
              extreme.  I mean, the government must be able to  protect
              itself  from  criminals  and  the  populace from indecent

       Y--    Get a life. The  only  people  that  need  this  kind  of
              protection  are  people  with  something to hide. I think
              cypherpunks are just a little paranoid.

       Y---   I am L. Detweiler.

       Pretty Good Privacy (aka PGP) is a  program  available  on  many
       platforms   that   will   encrypt  files  so  that  prying  eyes
       (particularly governmental) can’t look at them.

              I am Philip Zimmerman

       PGP+++ I don’t send or answer mail that is not encrypted, or  at
              the  very  least  signed. If you are reading this without
              decrypting it first, something is wrong. IT  DIDN’T  COME
              FROM ME!

       PGP++  I have the most recent version and use it regularly

       PGP+   "Finger me for my public key"

       PGP    I’ve used it, but stopped long ago.

       PGP-   I don’t have anything to hide.

       PGP--  I feel that the glory of the Internet is in the anarchic,
              trusting environment that so  nurtures  the  exchange  of
              information. Encryption just bogs that down.

       PGP--- If  you support encryption on the Internet, you must be a
              drug dealer or terrorist or something like that.

              Oh, here is something you all  can  use  that  is  better
              (insert Clipper here).


       Geeks  love  to  play.  No  matter  their  age,  all geeks enjoy
       playing. Of course, the object of  this  entertainment  takes  a
       myriad  of  different  forms.  What  is it that pushes a geek to
       play? Is it simply  a  desire  to  relive  their  childhood?  Or
       perhaps  there  is  a  piece of geeky genetic code that requires
       intellectual stimulation.  Who  knows,  maybe  it’s  a  Freudian

   Star Trek
       Most  geeks have an undeniable love for the Star Trek television
       show (in any of its different  incarnations).  Because  GEEK  is
       often  synonymous  with TREKKIE (real geeks aren’t so anal as to
       label themselves TREKKER), it is important that all  geeks  list
       their Trek rating.

       t+++   It’s  not  just  a  TV  show, it’s a religion. I know all
              about warp field dynamics and the principles  behind  the
              transporter.  I  have  memorized the TECH manual. I speak
              Klingon. I go to cons with Vulcan  ears  on.  I  have  no

       t++    It’s  the  best  show around. I have all the episodes and
              the movies on tape and can quote entire scenes  verbatim.
              I’ve  built a few of the model kits too. But you’ll never
              catch me at one of those conventions.  Those  people  are

       t+     It’s  a  damn  fine TV show and is one of the only things
              good on television any more.

       t      It’s just another TV show

       t-     Maybe it is just me, but I have no idea what the big deal
              with  Star  Trek  is. Perhaps I’m missing something but I
              just think it is bad drama.

       t--    Star Trek is just another Space  Opera.  William  Shatner
              isn’t  an actor, he’s a poser! And what’s with this Jean-
              Luc Picard? A Frenchman with a British accent?  Come  on.
              Isn’t  Voyager  just a rehash of Lost in Space? Has Sisko
              even breathed in the last two seasons? Come on. I’d  only
              watch this show if my remote control broke.

       t---   Star  Trek  SUCKS! It is the worst crap I have ever seen!
              Hey, all you trekkies out there,  GET  A  LIFE!  (William
              Shatner is a t---)

       t*     I  identify with Barclay, the greatest of the Trek Geeks.

   Babylon 5
       For many years, Sci-Fi geeks have wished for a  television  show
       that  would  overcome  the limitations of Star Trek. For many, a
       show  called  Babylon  5  has  met  that  demand,  with  a  deep
       storyline,  exciting  characters  and  state-of-the-art computer
       generated effects.

       5++++  I am J. Michael Straczynski

       5+++   I am a True Worshipper of the Church  of  Joe  who  lives
              eats breathes and thinks Babylon 5, and has Evil thoughts
              about stealing  Joe’s  videotape  archives  just  to  see
              episodes  earlier.   I am planning to break into the bank
              and steal the triple-encoded synopsis of the 5-year  arc.

       5++    Finally  a  show that shows what a real future would look
              like.  None of this Picardian "Let’s talk about it and be
              friends"  crap.  And what’s this? We finally get to see a
              bathroom! Over on that Enterprise, they’ve  been  holding
              it for over seven years!

       5+     Babylon  5  certainly presents a fresh perspective in the
              Sci-Fi universe. I watch it weekly.

       5      I’ve seen it, I am pretty indifferent to it.

       5-     This show is sub-par. The acting is wooden,  the  special
              effects  are obviously poor quality. In general, it seems
              like a very cheap Star Trek ripoff.

       5--    You call this Sci-Fi? That is such a load of  crap!  This
              show  is  just a soap with bad actors, piss-poor effects,
              and lame storylines. Puh-leese.

       The Fox Network’s Friday evening show The X-Files has become the
       staple   of   Friday   geekhood.   Any  show  that  has  aliens,
       governmental conspiracies, aliens, psychic powers,  aliens,  and
       other weird stuff is, by definition, a geeky show.

       X++++  I am Chris Carter

       X+++   This  is  the  BEST show on TV, and it’s about time. I’ve
              seen everything David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson  have
              ever  done  that  been recorded and I’m a loyal Duchovny/
              Gillian Anderson fan. I’ve Converted at least 10  people.
              I  have  every episode at SP, debate the fine details on-
              line, and have a credit for at least 2 YAXAs.

       X++    This is one of the better shows I’ve  seen.  I  wish  I’d
              taped  everything  from  the  start  at  SP,  because I’m
              wearing out my EP tapes. I’ll periodically debate online.
              I’ve Converted at least 5 people. I’ve gotten a YAXA.

       X+     I’ve  Converted  my  family  and  watch  the  show when I
              remember.  It’s really kinda fun.

       X      Ho hum. Just another Fox show.

       X-     It’s ok if you like paranoia and conspiracy stories, but,
              let’s face it, it’s crap.

       X--    If  I  wanted  to  watch  this kind of stuff, I’d talk to
              Oliver Stone

   Role Playing
       Role-playing games such as Dungeons & Dragons have long  been  a
       part of the traditional geek life. Because geeks often become so
       involved  in  their  role-playing  that  they  lose  touch  with
       reality, include one of the following role-playing codes.

       R+++   I’ve written and published my own gaming materials.

       R++    There  is no life outside the role of the die. I know all
              of piddly rules of (chosen game). _MY_ own  warped  rules
              scare the rest of the players.

       R+     I’ve got my weekly sessions set up and a character that I
              know better than I know myself.

       R      Role-Playing? That’s just  something  to  do  to  kill  a
              Saturday afternoon

       R-     Gosh, what an utter waste of time!

       R--    Role-Players are instruments of pure evil.

       R---   I work for T$R.

       R*     I thought life WAS role-playing?

       Many geeks have lives that revolve around television.

       tv+++  There’s nothing I can experience "out there" that I can’t
              see coming over my satellite dish. I wish there were MORE
              channels.  I live for the O.J. Trial.

       tv++   I  just  leave  the  tv  on,  to  make  sure I don’t miss

       tv+    I watch some tv every day.

       tv     I watch only the shows that are actually worthwhile, such
              as those found on PBS.

       tv-    I watch tv for the news and ’special programming.’

       tv--   I turn my tv on during natural disasters.

       !tv    I do not own a television.

       In  addition (or maybe on the other hand), many geeks have lives
       that revolve around books.

       b++++  I read a book a  day.  I  have  library  cards  in  three
              states. I have discount cards from every major bookstore.
              I’ve  ordered  books  from  another  country  to  get  my
              Favorite Author Fix.

       b+++   I consume a few books a week as part of a staple diet.

       b++    I  find  the  time to get through at least one new book a

       b+     I enjoy reading, but don’t get the time very often.

       b      I read the newspaper and the occasional book.

       b-     I read when there is no other way to get the information.

       b--    I did not actually READ the geek code, I just had someone
              tell me.

       Simply    the    geekiest    comic    strip    in     existence. for more information.

              I am Scott Adams.

       DI++++ I’ve received mail from Scott  Adams.  I’m  in  the  DNRC
              (Dogbert’s New Ruling Class).

       DI+++  I am a Dilbert prototype

       DI++   I  work  with  people that act a lot like Dilbert and his

       DI+    I read Dilbert daily, often understanding it

       DI     I read Dilbert infrequently, rarely understanding it

       DI-    Is that the comic about the engineers?

       DI--   Don’t read it, but I think the dog is kinda cute.

       DI---  I don’t think it’s funny to make fun of  managers  trying
              their best to run their organizational units.

       There is a game out for the PCs and other computers called DOOM.
       It’s a 3D virtual reality simulation where you race  around  and
       blow  things away with large-caliber weaponry. This has led to a
       series of similar games  such  as  the  Star  Wars  themed  Dark
       Forces.  Tell us about your abilities with these 3D games. (yes,
       some of them aren’t actually Doom. Cope!)

       D++++  I work for iD Software.

       D+++   I crank out PWAD files daily, complete with new monsters,
              weaponry,  sounds  and  maps. I’m a DOOM God. I can solve
              the original maps in nightmare mode with my eyes  closed.

       D++    I’ve played the shareware version and bought the real one
              and I’m actually pretty good at the game. I  occasionally
              download PWAD files and play them too.

       D+     It’s  a  fun,  action  game that is a nice diversion on a
              lazy afternoon.

       D      I’ve played the game and I’m pretty indifferent.

       D-     I’ve played the game and really didn’t think it  was  all
              that impressive.

       D--    It’s an overly-violent game and pure crap

       D---   To hell with Doom, I miss Zork.

       D----  I’ve seen better on my Atari 2600

   The Geek Code
       G+++++ I am Robert Hayden

       G++++  I  have made a suggestion for future versions of the code
              (note that making a suggestion just to get a G++++ rating
              doesn’t  count,  you  also have to at least qualify for a
              G+++ rating :-)

       G+++   I have memorized the entire geek  code,  and  can  decode
              others’  codes  in my head. I know by heart where to find
              the current version of the code on the net.

       G++    I know what each letter means, but sometimes have to look
              up the specifics.

       G+     I  was  once  G++  (or  higher), but the new versions are
              getting too long and too complicated.

       G      I know what the geek code is and even did up this code.

       G-     What a tremendous waste of time this Geek Code is.

       G--    Not only a waste of time, but  it  obviously  shows  that
              this Hayden guy needs a life.


       Geeks,  unlike  the  lower lifeforms known as nerds, have lives.
       They have things to do that are in the outside world. Of course,
       this is usually done with other geeks, but that’s not the point.
       The point is,, that  geeks  are  not  necessarily  the  outcasts
       society  often believes they are. The fact is that society isn’t
       kool enough to be included in our activities.

       All geeks have a varying amount of education.

       e+++++ I am Stephen Hawking

       e++++  Managed to get my Ph.D.

       e+++   Got a Masters degree

       e++    Got a Bachelors degree

       e+     Got an Associates degree

       e      Finished High School

       e-     Haven’t finished High School

       e--    Haven’t even entered High School

       e*     I learned everything there is to know about life from the
              "Hitchhiker’s Trilogy".

       Tell us about your geeky home.

       h++    Living  in a cave with 47 computers and an Internet feed,
              located near a Dominoes pizza. See !d.

       h+     Living alone, get out once a week to buy  food,  no  more
              than once a month to do laundry. All surfaces covered.

       h      Friends  come over to visit every once in a while to talk
              about Geek things. There is a place for them to sit.

       h-     Living with one or more registered Geeks.

       h--    Living with one or more people  who  know  nothing  about
              being a Geek and refuse to watch Babylon 5.

       h---   Married,  (persons living romantically with someone might
              as well label themselves h---, you’re as  good  as  there

       h----  Married with children - Al Bundy can sympathize

       h!     I am stuck living with my parents!

       h*     I’m  not  sure  where  I live anymore. This lab/workplace
              seems like home to me.

       While many geeks are highly successful at having  relationships,
       a good many more are not. Give us the gritty details.

       r+++   Found someone, dated, and am now married.

       r++    I’ve dated my current S.O. for a long time.

       r+     I  date  frequently,  bouncing  from  one relationship to

       r      I date periodically.

       r-     I have difficulty maintaining a relationship.

       r--    People just aren’t interested in dating me.

       r---   I’m beginning to think that I’m a leper or something, the
              way people avoid me like the plague.

       !r     I’ve never had a relationship.

       r*     signifying  membership in the SBCA (Sour Bachelor(ette)’s
              Club  of  America).  The  motto  is  ’Bitter,   but   not
              Desperate’. First founded at Caltech.

       r%     I  was going out with someone, but the asshole dumped me.

       Geeks have traditionally had problems with sex (ie,  they  never
       have  any).  Because  geeks are so wrapped up in their sexuality
       (or lack of sexuality for that matter), it is important that the
       geek be willing to quantify their sexual experiences.

       This code also is used to denote the gender of the geek. Females
       use x in this category, while males use y.  Those  that  do  not
       wish to disclose their gender can use z. For example:

       x+     A female who has had sex

       y+     A male who has had sex.

       z+     A person (gender undisclosed) who has had sex.

       For  those  persons  who  do not wish to give out any details of
       their sex life, the use of z? (where z is the gender code)  will
       allow you to do so.

       z+++++ I am Madonna

       z++++  I  have  a  few little rug rats to prove I’ve been there.
              Besides, with kids around, who has time for sex?

       z+++   I’m married, so I can get it (theoretically)  whenever  I

       z++    I  was  once  referred to as ’easy’. I have no idea where
              that might have come from though.

       z+     I’ve had real, live sex.

       z      I’ve had sex. Oh! You mean with someone else? Then no.

       z-     Not having sex by choice.

       z--    Not having sex because I just can’t get any...

       z---   Not having sex because I’m a nun or a priest.

       z*     I’m a pervert.

       z**    I’ve been known to make perverts look like angels.

       !z     Sex? What’s that? I’ve had no sexual experiences.

       z?     It’s none of your business what my sex life is like (this
              is used to denote your gender only).

       !z+    Sex? What’s that? No experience, willing to learn!

How to Display Your Code

       Now that you have your ratings for each of the above categories,
       it’s time to assemble your code for  displaying  to  the  world.
       Take  each  category  you  determined and list them all together
       with one space between each one. If you run  out  space  on  one
       line,  continue  it  on  the  next. When completed, it will look
       something like the following:

       GED/J d-- s:++>: a-- C++(++++) ULU++ P+ L++ E---- W+(-) N+++  o+
       K+++  w---  O- M+ V-- PS++>$ PE++>$ Y++ PGP++ t- 5+++ X++ R+++>$
       tv+ b+ DI+++ D+++ G+++++ e++ h r-- y++**

       If you are going to place your Geek Code into your .signature or
       .plan  file  (highly  recommended),  you should create your GEEK
       CODE BLOCK.  This parody  of  the  output  created  by  the  PGP
       program  will  attempt to universalize how you will see the Geek
       Code around the net. Your GEEK CODE BLOCK  will  look  like  the

       -----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
       Version: 3.1
       GED/J  d-- s:++>: a-- C++(++++) ULU++ P+ L++ E---- W+(-) N+++ o+
       K+++ w--- O- M+ V-- PS++>$ PE++>$ Y++ PGP++ t- 5+++  X++  R+++>$
       tv+ b+ DI+++ D+++ G+++++ e++ h r-- y++**

       ------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------
       As  you  can  see,  the actual code hasn’t changed. However, the
       version number of the code you are using is displayed along with
       lines  starting  and ending the code. Make sure to duplicate the
       start and end lines exactly as the example in order to  maintain
       a  net-wide  standard  (ie.  five  dashes front and back for the
       BEGIN line and six for the END line, and all capital letters.)

       "HELP!" you scream as your mailer or news reader won’t  let  you
       post  more  than  four  lines in the .signature. That is because
       some anal programs limit the size of your signature.  Your  next
       best  bet,  then  is to put your GEEK CODE BLOCK into your .plan
       file and put something to the effect of "Finger for  Geek  Code"
       into your .signature. That, or get a better mailer.




       The  Geek Code is available at the following official sites. All
       other sites are not official:


       Robert A. Hayden <>

       This    man-page    was     written     by     Jan     Schaumann
       <>  as  part  of  "The  Missing Man Pages
       Project".                       Please                       see for details.